For some parents-to-be, seeing those two lines on a positive pregnancy test is enough to make them want to shout it from the rooftops! “We’re going to have a baby!!!” They tell their close family and friends, plan an elaborate pregnancy announcement for social media and even start shopping baby essentials in preparation for their baby’s arrival.
But what if you want to keep your pregnancy a secret? Wait until your pregnancy is further established or your due date is slightly closer? Whilst we can’t all do a Kylie Jenner and hide away from the world until our baby’s arrival and then reappear with a baby and a “to our daughter” video, we can take some small steps to keep our pregnancy private.
Here are some tips for keeping your pregnancy confidential, in the early stages at least:
- Confide in a trusted friend – getting pregnant is a huge deal, and it is likely that you are going to be excited, a little nervous and exhausted all at the same time. Telling one person that you know and trust can be helpful – having someone you can turn to for advice and support in the early stages of pregnancy, and who can have your back and help you if you need to discreetly order non alcoholic drinks at a family or business event.
- When it comes to drinking alcoholic drinks (or the lack of), not having that normal glass of wine with dinner or cocktail during happy hour can be a huge giveaway and raise suspicion, especially if people know you are trying for a baby. Whilst saying you’re on antibiotics or a detox may deflect attention for a while, a good alternative is to avoid drink rounds and buy your own. Ask for virgin cocktails or a diet coke minus the vodka and your friends will never know the difference!
- Stock up on the anti-sickness aids such as ginger, hard boiled sweets and copious amounts of water. The running to the loo or disappearing from your desk to throw up can also be a bit of a giveaway (especially if you can’t blame a hangover!)
- If you do feel the need to start buying some baby essentials – do it online. I made the mistake of heading to the store to buy a baby record book before I’d announced my pregnancy and bumped into an old school friend in the queue. I said it was for my sister, but I quite clearly wasn’t fooling anyone!!
- For those of you with children already, who are expecting a second child or sibling, as exciting as it may be to let them know they’re expecting a brother or sister, NEVER EVER tell your child – that is unless you want their entire class at school and their parents to be congratulating you at the school gates. Instead tell them just before you share the news more publicly, and that way if they do let it slip prematurely the damage is minimal!
- Dress for your changing shape – that tell-tale pregnancy bump can start to show pretty quickly even in the early stages of pregnancy, stick to darker colors or layer it up, and avoid tightly fitting outfits where possible which will enhance your new found curves!
- Avoid touching your bump. This one is really hard, as it happens almost instinctively. Quite often pregnant women will cradle or touch their bump when in conversation, and not only can it draw attention to your slightly more rounded tummy, but can be an obvious sign that you’re protecting something special!
- When it comes to those early prenatal appointments, you may not want to tell your employer, in which case a pesky filling or dental appointment could be a good alternative. Don’t forget however that it is illegal for your employer to discriminate you or treat you unfairly on the grounds of your pregnancy, so you may decide to confide in your boss.
- Avoid elaborate lies – whilst the odd little fib might be required to get you through the early stages of pregnancy, avoid spinning a huge web of lies that a) might cause you to forget what you’ve said or share two different versions of the truth or b) make people feel mislead or unhappy when they learn the truth. Stick with the simple!
- Decide the “right” time for you – if you want to wait till your 12 week scan or the 20 week scan, the choice is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone else dictate it for you. For me the best part of keeping one’s pregnancy secret, is watching peoples faces as they look at you in a slightly confused fashion when they *think* you are pregnant but are too scared to ask. Priceless!
Lucy is a UK-based parenting and lifestyle blogger who has also featured in the Huffington Post. A Mom of two daughters, Lucy is passionate about sharing the true reality of parenthood and helping others through their first experiences. In her free time she loves to write, go on day trips with her family and photography.
